(Boom. BOOM.)

(CRASH!)

(Your peaceful slumber is interrupted by your door blasting off its hinges. Standing in what used to be the entrance of your hut is a musclebound oni with crimson skin and a glorious mane—your great and powerful leader, Guren the Red. She flashes you a shit-eating grin and gestures towards you, the hoots and hollers of partying youkai ringing out in the camp behind her.)

"GET UP, LOSER! WE'RE GOIN' RAIDIN'!"